oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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