I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
