I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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