Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
