Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
