the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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