Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
