so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
