You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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