this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
