That's intense
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
