They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
