apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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