So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
