My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
