I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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