Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
