end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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