my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this just has baby written all over it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
