3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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