I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
