i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
