soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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