Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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