craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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