I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This toilet bowl is my home.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
