Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
