we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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