For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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