That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
