god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
