Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
