it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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