Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Is Oprah even human
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
