I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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