yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
