in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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