Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
