are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
