I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
