Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
