hotel room ftw
i think my tv is drunk
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
