I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
