My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
