You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
