kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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