But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Terrible idea I love it
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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