just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
