eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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