dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
