The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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